Seven reasons I fail to write

Oh how can I count the many ways I have wanted to write a post and yet something always gets in the way.

I feel like writing but decide a nap is the better choice
I feel like writing but then the toddler gets up from his nap
I feel like writing but I have laundry, dishes, dinner to prep, or calls to make
I feel like writing but my snuggly boys want mommy to cuddle them on the couch while they watch Disney Planes for the 20th time
I feel like writing but the boys want breakfast, lunch or snacks
I feel like writing but I’d rather spend time with my husband at the end of the night (my husband and chocolate chip cookies that is ;)
and right now I feel like writing but my toddler is begging for another Thomas episode.

So in the end I realize my need or desire to be creative, which is what writing is for me, comes last on the priority list. But this is nothing new to moms, right? We tend to put others needs before our own, sometimes to the point of where it’s unhealthy. As I sit and chew on this thought I am reminded that this is exactly what Christ did for mankind…for me.

And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.
Philippians 2:8

He was the perfect example of unselfish love. He never whined about not getting some “time off” to do His own thing. He never lost his patience with his kids or husband. A selfish word was never uttered from his mouth.

Yet I am human and although I want to be more like Jesus I know that I fail miserably. But this role of mother is not to be taken lightly. It is an opportunity. An opportunity for God to show me my failings and remind me all over again that I am NOT enough, but HE IS. I will never find the perfect balance of wife, mother and being an individual person with needs this side of heaven. I don’t think I am supposed to. I think the roles we take on are all to point us to a Creator who is so much greater than we are. Who can use those roles to exemplify His love for us. Showing me how badly I need Him, everyday, every hour, every minute.

So I will shut down the laptop and go and cuddle these tiny souls I have been entrusted with and decide that right now their needs trump mine. And that’s ok. Because one day they won’t want to be cuddled. One day when I clean the house it will stay clean. One day I will get the peace and quiet to write books and books. But for now I will settle for short intermittent blog posts.

Hormones SUCK and other fun pregnancy truths

Is it possible? Am I really only four weeks out from my due date with this baby? It still amazes me how time flies and yet it still feels like I have been pregnant forever! I am not gonna lie this has been a tough pregnancy. Medically speaking it’s been fine. No major complications, back pain (as in the past), or ongoing physical issues. Of course there’s always the heartburn, hip pain, and general discomfort that applies to all pregnancies but overall I do feel blessed to not have anything major to deal with in that regard. BUT…emotionally this has got to be the toughest pregnancy by far!

I’ve learned a lot from my past pregnancies and births so I feel more self aware of what’s happening with my body but those darn hormones are still SO overwhelming. The lack of control over how I feel has been the worst. I am on an emotional rollercoaster and there are times when I just need to cry…for NO reason. Then the guilt starts. Why am I crying and feeling so horrible? You are such a complainer and no one wants to be around a complainer! I should be grateful for so much in my life! Why do I dwell on such small insignificant things and overreact? Then enters the frustration. I usually am so much more laid back and can let these things go! Why can’t I be as patient and compassionate as I normally am? How am I supposed to teach my kids about self control with tantrums when mommy can barely keep it together? And finally comes anger. I HATE this! I just want my body back! I want my brain back! I want control over what I say and how I act! I want the energy and physical ability to run with my kids, pick up my toddler and enjoy playing with them again. No one understands how hard this is!

Lately I have been watching my favorite movie clip from What to Expect When You’re Expecting. One of the main characters is pregnant with her first and is speaking at a baby expo. Her monologue perfectly encompasses how difficult pregnancy can be. It’s not all beautiful and exciting. It’s exhausting hard work and is pretty gross at times! My all time favorite line is when she looks at her husband in the crowd and says “Gare Bear I’m sorry but all I wanna do is punch you in the face… but I love you so much so I don’t mean it.” And that pretty much sums up how I feel.

There’s no rational reason for every feeling that comes out of my brain. And frankly I can’t always control it. The level of physical exhaustion is so great at times there’s no mental energy to keep those filters in place. You know the ones I’m talking about. The self control that keeps you from losing your cool when your kids still aren’t listening to your orders to get their PJs on when you’ve told them five times in a row. The filter that keeps you from sticking your foot in your mouth when a friend laments about her single zit on her otherwise perfect skin while you battle with red scaly blotches all over your face from the influx of hormones that has caused you to invest in enough cover up to fill a landfill. The filter that keeps you from punching the well meaning woman in the face when she says you really shouldn’t be carrying your 21 month old as it could hurt the baby in your belly. (Ok I didn’t punch her in the face but my level of love for this woman wasn’t what it should have been).

So in an effort to not continually feel horrible about saying or doing the right thing I decided to only hang around people that understand where I am at right now. I just don’t have the bandwidth for more right now. Can I get an AMEN from my ladies who get this?!

And for those preggo friends out there here’s the clip from What to Expect When You’re Expecting. Enjoy! Just try not to pee your pants.

 

Calling LOS ANGELES Cat Owners! Get Paid for Trying a New Cat Litter

I have an AWESOME opportunity for any LA cat owners. I worked with this group before on a focus group and it was a blast! Plus the extra cash didn’t hurt any either. Here’s the thing, I want to be up front that I am being compensated for each candidate I send to Nancy for […]

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What I Learned at ShiftCon: Research, the Importance of Organic, & Brands I Can Trust

stonyfield-e1270683676952

For those that follow me on my Facebook, Twitter or Instagram you will have noticed my plethora of pictures from the ShiftCon Conference I attended recently. ShiftCon was the very first international social media conference focusing on wellness, health, and the environment. I decided to attend last Spring when I began changing our food habits to […]

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Saying Goodbye to the Prospect of a Girl

My collection of girl dresses that I wore as a baby

While out with my two boys and my prominent belly bump I always get asked, “So is this one a girl?” Of course I have to answer, “Nope. Another boy!” Their faces show pity and disappointment for me, or the generic “Aww, how fun three brothers.” Either way I’m never mad. I know some women […]

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Healthy Drinks and Snacks for Back to School plus GIVEAWAY!

Y Water

I have to be honest although I crave feeding my kids healthy foods sometimes I just need the convenience of grabbing something off the shelf. Thankfully I have found some great options that provide not just convenience but healthy ingredients. Y Water A local LA based company Y Water thinks differently: In with the vitamins, […]

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From Miscarriage and Infertility to a Surprise Pregnancy: How Cutting Out Processed Foods Healed Me From the Inside Out

third pregnancy

It’s been awhile since I’ve written a personal post and believe me I’ve had good reason. We found out we were expecting our third baby at the end of May and to say it caught us by surprise is a bit of an understatement. My first son took three years to conceive and during that […]

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Los Angeles MOMS… Get paid to sample an excellent New Dishwashing Machine Detergent

Finish Cascade collage

I have another AWESOME opportunity for any LA moms out there. I worked with this group on their last focus group and it was a blast! Plus the extra cash didn’t hurt any either. Here’s the thing, I want to be up front that I am being compensated for each candidate I send to Nancy […]

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Knott’s Berry Farm celebrates Camp Snoopy turning 30 with three new rides!

Camp Snoopy 30th Anniversary Logo

I recall taking Little Man to Knott’s Berry Farm when he turned two and it was such fun. His favorite part by far was Camp Snoopy since it was made just for someone his size. It’s hard to believe that Camp Snoopy is celebrating 30 years since the place still looks so well run and […]

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Mom 2.0 Summit Recap Part 2: Content Strategy – the latest in social media platforms Facebook, Pinterest, Twitter & Google+

HandmadebyCharlotte

My absolute favorite panel was called Content Strategy: The latest in social media platforms. The panelists included Charlie Capen (@Howtobeadad), Jyl Johnson Pattee (@momitforward), Rachel Faucett (@followcharlotte), Ekta Tandon (@whirlpoolusa), and it was moderated by Kristen Chase (@coolmompicks). Each of the panelists walked us through social media platforms where they are doing a great job […]

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