Oh how can I count the many ways I have wanted to write a post and yet something always gets in the way.
I feel like writing but decide a nap is the better choice
I feel like writing but then the toddler gets up from his nap
I feel like writing but I have laundry, dishes, dinner to prep, or calls to make
I feel like writing but my snuggly boys want mommy to cuddle them on the couch while they watch Disney Planes for the 20th time
I feel like writing but the boys want breakfast, lunch or snacks
I feel like writing but I’d rather spend time with my husband at the end of the night (my husband and chocolate chip cookies that is
and right now I feel like writing but my toddler is begging for another Thomas episode.
So in the end I realize my need or desire to be creative, which is what writing is for me, comes last on the priority list. But this is nothing new to moms, right? We tend to put others needs before our own, sometimes to the point of where it’s unhealthy. As I sit and chew on this thought I am reminded that this is exactly what Christ did for mankind…for me.
And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.
He was the perfect example of unselfish love. He never whined about not getting some “time off” to do His own thing. He never lost his patience with his kids or husband. A selfish word was never uttered from his mouth.
Yet I am human and although I want to be more like Jesus I know that I fail miserably. But this role of mother is not to be taken lightly. It is an opportunity. An opportunity for God to show me my failings and remind me all over again that I am NOT enough, but HE IS. I will never find the perfect balance of wife, mother and being an individual person with needs this side of heaven. I don’t think I am supposed to. I think the roles we take on are all to point us to a Creator who is so much greater than we are. Who can use those roles to exemplify His love for us. Showing me how badly I need Him, everyday, every hour, every minute.
So I will shut down the laptop and go and cuddle these tiny souls I have been entrusted with and decide that right now their needs trump mine. And that’s ok. Because one day they won’t want to be cuddled. One day when I clean the house it will stay clean. One day I will get the peace and quiet to write books and books. But for now I will settle for short intermittent blog posts.