It was an average Tuesday morning when I got the call from a fellow blogger that CBS was looking for a woman to speak about her experience with Postpartum Depression. Knowing I had written about my experience in the past she referred them to me. After a whirlwind call they were at my door two hours later.
Postpartum Depression can be a sensitive subject for many women and may bring on feelings of guilt, judgement (of themselves), sadness, loneliness and anger. I have always wanted to be an open book about such things so that I may encourage other moms in their journey. Hence, why I have written about my experience on my blog.
What I was not expecting was how raw my emotions still are. I broke down in tears as she asked me if there had been a breaking point where I knew I needed help. Of course there was a moment. A moment of pure exhaustion where all rational thinking is gone. A moment where I could no longer take the crying. A moment where I no longer had strength to rock him to sleep one more time. A moment where I screamed at my newborn. It was a raw real moment of utter despair. Looking at this little miracle in your arms, a miracle that you should be grateful for, and not being able to bond with him is the worst feeling in the world as a mom. Thankfully I had an amazing partner who could take over when I could no longer function.
I had no idea which parts of our interview would be shared but as I let my walls come down (for ALL to see) my hope and prayer is that if there is a woman watching, suffering in silence, she won’t feel alone. That she will find the support she needs to get help and will eventually emerge from the darkness and into the light.
If you so feel led I would love to hear your own journey with PPD. Please comment below or send me an email if you prefer (Kate (at) Retromodernmom (dot) com). And if you are still suffering it would be such an honor to pray for you.
Here’s the link to the CBS News Los Angeles clip