I recently saw a friends Facebook status about the usage of the term “Becasue I Said So”. Although he was referencing it regarding the work place it got me thinking about how I use it in parenting and if it’s even something I should be saying.
Let’s be clear, saying “because I said so” out of frustration or anger is not the correct usage. Just for the record I have used that term a handful of times with my five year old but never out of anger. I didn’t start using it until this past year and it certainly is not my go-to response. That being said I believe it is a completely valid response at times and reinforces some truths.
- You are in authority
- Obedience without question is important
I have explained to my eldest that God gave me a BIG job when He made me his mom. I am to teach and train him in God’s ways and exemplify who God is by how I treat him. Basically I am God with skin on to him until he can come to know the Lord himself. NO PRESSURE haha!
A missionary with grown children once gave me a piece of advice, you don’t always have to explain the reasons why you are asking them to do something. Here’s why: At some point my son becomes communicative enough to negotiate, manipulate and barter about obedience (this happens earlier than you think!). Allowing this type of dialogue for every directive will soon reveal that my child does not always agree with my reasons. Finally, when my son decides my reasons are not good enough he will decide to go his own way.
Is this how God deals with us? DO we not try and do the SAME thing with Him? I know I have. God doesn’t always explain His reasons for everything, He simply asks for trust and obedience. If I don’t create that same relationship with my son I fear He will have a much harder time coming to know and trust the Lord on His own.
For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the LORD. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.
In the end my sons will learn to obey without question because I said so. I am their mother, I am in authority over them, I have their best interests at heart and I am trustworthy and will never direct them into evil. THIS is the relationship I want to create.
Just some food for thought as you journey in your parenting.