When Did My Kids Become an Inconvenience?

My daily reminder to show them love even in the midst of bad behavior

My daily reminder to show them love even in the midst of bad behavior

Have you ever had one of those parenting moments that just stops you in your tracks and you know you will remember this moment forever? Last week was one of those moments for me, and not in a good way.

Let me back up a bit to give you a bit of context. Since having three kids my life has become a bit busier, understandably. With that I have found myself rushing a lot more and getting more easily frustrated with the kids. Why am I constantly cleaning up messes! Can’t they learn to eat OVER their plate!? Why does it take TEN minutes to put on shoes and get out the door!? Would they just stop treating me like a human jungle gym!? And WHY on God’s green earth won’t they DO WHAT I SAY THE FIRST TIME!?

I had become the mean mommy. I was short-tempered and I hated it. I didn’t like being this way and I knew things needed to change. After a particularly good MOPS meeting I was so convicted by the speaker when she talked about parenting. She made the distinction of separating our kids out from their behavior.

“YOU I love. This issue over here we need to work on.”

What stood out to me was affirming your love for them and using the words ‘work on’. This took time and training. I had become so critical of them I couldn’t remember the last time I affirmed them. Told them I loved them in the midst of bad behavior.

As God is apt to do He immediately drove the point home upon leaving MOPS. I had all three kids with me and we were running to the car as it had started to rain. I was rushing to get everyone in the van and load up all our stuff. I was barking orders to get in their seats and as I came back to the door I saw my 3 year old smearing the chalkboard craft I had just made. I yelled at him to STOP and briskly shoved him in his seat. After getting the rest of the car loaded I was buckling him in and he began to cry. Through his sobs he simply said, “Me sorry mommy. Me trying to help you get the rain off and all I did was mess it up.” He had genuine fear that I was going to give him consequences for this. It was like a knife in my heart and I still haven’t fully recovered.

My world stopped and I took him into my arms. “No sweetie. This isn’t your fault. It’s mine.”

As if that wasn’t bad enough my 5 year old started crying too saying, “I don’t want you to be mad anymore.”

How had I gotten so far from the mom I wanted to be? When did my kids become an inconvenience? When did I last stop to bend down and ask them what they were thinking? When had I traded efficiency for teaching?

My oldest isn’t being annoying and aggressive every time he jumps on my back. He is begging for more physical contact. Even though he’s five he still needs mommy to hold him and cuddle him. My 3 year old isn’t malicious, he’s curious. He isn’t destructive he just wants to explore his world and hasn’t learned self-control.

I wish I could say everything is all better but honestly change takes time. I have certainly made strides to repair our relationships and get us back on track. I have been more intentional about meeting needs that aren’t always easily vocalized. But most of all I have made time in our schedule. Time to handle those sibling conflicts. Time to teach my toddler how to put on his shoes. Time to cuddle and simply BE.

 

A Review of Naturepedic Organic Mattresses: from 5 boxes to a queen mattress

I was THRILLED to be chosen as the winner of a queen sized mattress from Naturepedic back at the ShiftCon Conference back in September! I have been wanting one of their mattresses for myself ever since I met them back in 2014 and purchased a crib mattress from their booth.

Testing out comfort layers at the Naturepedic Store

Testing out comfort layers at the Naturepedic Store

My husband and I finally made it down to their showroom to pick from their four different comfort layers to see what worked best. Each side of the mattress can be customized so if your partner wants super firm but you like it a little softer that’s no problem! And if you end up not liking it you can change it out for free within 90 days!

The mattress showed up in FIVE huge boxes (which my sons enjoyed turning into a fort later). It sounds odd I know but as I share below it was surprisingly easy and quick to assemble.

STEP ONE: Placing the encasement on our boxspring

STEP ONE: Placing the encasement on our boxspring

STEP TWO: Unwrapping the two coil layers and placing them in the encasing.

STEP TWO: Unwrapping the two coil layers and placing them in the encasing.

STEP THREE: Placing each latex comfort layer. If your partner and you choose different comfort layers you just place them on whichever side of the bed you sleep on.

STEP THREE: Placing each latex comfort layer. If your partner and you choose different comfort layers you just place them on whichever side of the bed you sleep on.

STEP FOUR: With all layers tucked inside you simply zip up the encasing!

STEP FOUR: With all layers tucked inside you simply zip up the encasing!

DONE!

DONE!

So there you have it! We have been sleeping on it for a week now and it is AMAZING! Definitely the most comfortable mattress I have EVER slept on! My husband (who was skeptical at first) has even started raving about what a difference it is compared to our old conventional mattress.

So if you are in the market be sure to check out Naturepedic!

 

Treasuring the little things: God’s lessons to a young mom

“But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart.”  Luke‬ ‭2:19‬ Today I treasured these things in my heart like Mary. I want to bundle up this morning in a bow and tuck it away like a gift to be opened later when I need a little encouragement. Maybe today you […]

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It’s My Birthday So Why am I Struggling?

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It’s Valentines weekend! Not only that but it’s also my birthday and I don’t mind sharing it’s the big 35! But in all honesty this is turning out to be a difficult birthday for me. It’s been a challenging yet amazing year. Last year at this time I had a 2 week old and was […]

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My CBS News Interview on Postpartum Depression…the Emotions are Still Raw

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It was an average Tuesday morning when I got the call from a fellow blogger that CBS was looking for a woman to speak about her experience with Postpartum Depression. Knowing I had written about my experience in the past she referred them to me. After a whirlwind call they were at my door two […]

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His Firsts are My Lasts

Retro modern mom - his firsts are my lasts

There’s something that happens to your perspective when you know you’re done having children. I’ve shared before what a TOUGH transition it was to three children. We knew from the moment we became pregnant with Munchkin he would be our last baby. Every first for him will be the last for me. As his first birthday […]

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Holiday video series: Kate’s Favorite Things!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!   I took most of the holidays off from posting on the blog and instead focused on a fun video series on my Facebook page. If you don’t follow me there go click that LIKE button. I post there much more often than I do here. For those who missed it here […]

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Cooking ain’t happening tonight: Where’s my SOS people?

Sometimes parenting is just hard. Not for one particular reason or even for ten. There are those days when I just feel ‘out of it’ and all I want to do is hole myself up under my covers and never emerge. Yet as a mom to young children that’s not an option. My bad mood, […]

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My Green Beauty Event with Beautycounter (and GIVEAWAY!)

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I was thrilled to co-host a Green Beauty Event this past week with my dear friend and fellow blogger Karianna Frey from Best Bib and Tucker Blog. We brought in ShiftCon panelist Lindsay Dahl from Beauty and the Beast: Navigating the World of Green Beauty to share with everyone some education on the cosmetics industry. Lindsay […]

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What’s in my RED LIPSTICK!?: Finding safer brands in cosmetics

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My journey into green living began about two years ago and it started with food. I think most of us start there. It’s an easy one to attack and start making changes where you see an immediate difference. But with all the education I learned about food I began to question other aspects of my home. What […]

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