Waiting for the Light

A friend told me recently that people such as myself are like sunshine. They are bright, bubbly and used to being noticed. But when the sun goes behind a cloud it gets very dark.

Let me start by stating the obvious, I haven’t been blogging. The minute I begin to piece together a post my head gets foggy and my thoughts disappear like steam on a windowpane. As soon as I grab hold of a thought it slips through my fingers and it’s gone. But occasionally the light breaks through, glimpses at first, just enough to illuminate the muck I’m standing in. Muck I didn’t realize was there. Muck that isn’t even all mine and most of which I never asked for in the first place. Yet it holds me like tar not letting go. The more I struggle to pull myself onto solid ground the more I am dragged down into the depths of darkness. So I stay still, unmoving, waiting for what I know will come as it always does. A promise of aliveness, clarity of mind. I hold to this promise and the remembrance of past times when the Light intensifies and I realize it breaking apart the mud and tar, surrounding my entire body. The muck falls away and the Light brings me onto solid ground presenting me clean and pure. It’s a transformation only the aliveness of Christ can produce.

I’ve been here before and I will shine again. But for now I will set my eyes on the Light & be still…waiting.

“For you were formerly darkness, but now you are Light in the Lord;
walk as children of the Light.”
-Ephesians 5:8


  1. And we will wait for you.

  2. Kate -I so enjoyed meeting you in person yesterday!
    I’m here for you if you ever want to chat.
    I think this time of year is tough for some people – it is for me.
    The fun and fuss of the holidays has disappeared. January always seems a little blah to me.
    Be well…

  3. Standing by and sending positive thoughts your way!

  4. Beautifully written. I admire your openness.

  5. Give that muck back. It’s not fair for you to hold it if it’s not even yours!

  6. Hang in there, Kate!

  7. I guarantee that when you are ready, that inspiration and clarity will come back and it will be even better than it was before. xo

  8. I think many of us have been in that mucky place. Keep holding on to that thought that you’ll be out of it eventually, because you will!

  9. Don’t give in to the muck. Kick it in the face. You are just going through season. Sometimes in order to get a sense of direction of what our next step is we just need to remain still and listen for His voice.

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