While out with my two boys and my prominent belly bump I always get asked, “So is this one a girl?” Of course I have to answer, “Nope. Another boy!” Their faces show pity and disappointment for me, or the generic “Aww, how fun three brothers.” Either way I’m never mad. I know some women get really upset at the insensitive comments of strangers but how could I get upset that they are just expressing what I have already had to feel.
Finding out I was having another boy was a blow, I’m not gonna lie. It wasn’t nearly as difficult as when I was pregnant with my second, which I’ve written about on the Right Start Blog, “So we found out the sex and I’m not excited.” Yet I still had to grieve a bit and have a good cry.
As I marinated on the idea of having three boys it was exciting but there was still that part of me that was bummed. This is our third, and last, pregnancy and realizing I will never get to experience that mother daughter bond with my own daughter saddens me a bit. There will be no mommy daughter trips to the nail salon, french braiding her hair for her first day at school or helping her pick out her prom dress. I’ve been told girls are a lot of work, especially in those teen years, and I have already seen the drama with some of my girlfriends daughters. Yet none of that seems to matter when I look at the beautiful ruffled dresses I have been keeping for 34 years. Dresses that have been cleaned and restored and hung with care waiting for the announcement that a special Wilkinson baby girl will get to wear them just as her mommy before her.
Although I know this precious little boy will be an absolute joy I am allowing myself to feel sadness as I carefully pack away these dresses for another 30 years awaiting an announcement of a grandbaby girl.