Saying Goodbye to the Prospect of a Girl

My collection of girl dresses that I wore as a baby

My collection of girl dresses that I wore as a baby

While out with my two boys and my prominent belly bump I always get asked, “So is this one a girl?” Of course I have to answer, “Nope. Another boy!” Their faces show pity and disappointment for me, or the generic “Aww, how fun three brothers.” Either way I’m never mad. I know some women get really upset at the insensitive comments of strangers but how could I get upset that they are just expressing what I have already had to feel.

Finding out I was having another boy was a blow, I’m not gonna lie. It wasn’t nearly as difficult as when I was pregnant with my second, which I’ve written about on the Right Start Blog, “So we found out the sex and I’m not excited.” Yet I still had to grieve a bit and have a good cry.

As I marinated on the idea of having three boys it was exciting but there was still that part of me that was bummed. This is our third, and last, pregnancy and realizing I will never get to experience that mother daughter bond with my own daughter saddens me a bit. There will be no mommy daughter trips to the nail salon, french braiding her hair for her first day at school or helping her pick out her prom dress. I’ve been told girls are a lot of work, especially in those teen years, and I have already seen the drama with some of my girlfriends daughters. Yet none of that seems to matter when I look at the beautiful ruffled dresses I have been keeping for 34 years. Dresses that have been cleaned and restored and hung with care waiting for the announcement that a special Wilkinson baby girl will get to wear them just as her mommy before her.

My mom holding me as I wore one of the dresses pictured above

My mom holding me as I wore one of the dresses pictured above

Although I know this precious little boy will be an absolute joy I am allowing myself to feel sadness as I carefully pack away these dresses for another 30 years awaiting an announcement of a grandbaby girl.

Comments

  1. Kim Santiago says:

    I know the feeling I have 3 boys love them all with all my heart, but I now have a granddaughter she is the love of my life.

  2. I had to wait for granddaughters and I have gotten two wonderful little girls to fuss over. I know what you are feeling.

  3. Hugs. I think gender disappointment is a big deal and real. But you are a kick ass mom that I look up to and if anyone can wrangle boys it’s you. Plus it means you will be bringing up wonderful, respectful men which there aren’t enough of anymore.

  4. Um, do we have to wait 30 more years? The Wilkinson boys are so handsome, and I’m being completely objective about this, that you just know they will all be little chick magnets and married in their 20s. Besides, 30 more years and I’ll be 90, toothless and sitting around watching reruns of Big Bang Theory on an old version of Netflix.

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