Today was our first day of school. I say ‘Our’ because really it’s both Little Man’s first day of kindergarten and my first day as a mom sending her kid to a full day of school. With bells and lunches and recess, the works! This isn’t like preschool at all!
I think I was more anxious about it than Little Man. I started stressing out a few days before; labeling clothing, buying lunch and snack items (watch out for nuts, it’s not allowed!), finding a fun new lunchbox and reusable water bottle, and planning a special breakfast. Last night I woke up at 1:30am (ok the baby woke me up) and could NOT get back to sleep. My mind would just not turn off. I was wired and anxious and stressed. PLEASE tell me I am not the only one here?!
By the morning I sprung out of bed, made breakfast, got dressed and passed off the younger ones to my lovely father in law so I could take Little Man to school all by myself. That walk will forever be etched in my memory. Holding his little hand and lunchbox, watching our shadows on the pavement. He said he was nervous about meeting his new classmates. I assured him he would make great friends. We talked about what he wanted to be when he grew up, a Pilot, and all the flight school he would need to have to achieve that dream.
“Mom, how long do I have to go to school for?” He asked. “Hmm, if you go to college probably about 16 more years,” I replied. “That’s a LONG time,” He sighed. I agreed and yet as I watched his little frame try to keep up with my long strides I know those years will fly by. He will soon be refusing hugs and hands. Instead of walking to school hand in hand he would be walking in commencement in cap and gown.
As I left him in his classroom and walked out I wasn’t prepared for the raw emotions. The emptiness of my hand, the quiet walk back home. No more questions, no more skipping. It was just me. I have a feeling when I send my last son to Kinder these emotions will overflow and I will need a big ugly cry.
But for now Little Man is home with his brothers…chewing on paper. Maybe that cap and gown are a bit further off than I think. 😉
How was your first day of school?